Saturday, September 29, 2007


I have been fantasizing a lot lately (not that kind you dirty mind). These are fantasies that too much of TV(think JD think scrubs) , movies (think matrix , think vadivelu) and Calvin and hobbes (the only ones)... can do to a mind that has too much time on its hands..

Work has been lean, I am not complaining, not yet...was pretty much the same in India. It is just that, here, people work and thats pretty much it....Imagine this for fun at work...a huge hall with cubicles spread out as far as the eye can see, people trotting in at 9.00 and leaving at 4.00, dead silence broken by the occasional phone ring...Yeah people , think matrix.And the fact that Keanu Reaves is as good looking as me, helps me ease into his shoes a lot more easily. Only difference was that Neo tries to hide/crouch and evade talk on the phone..

In my case i crouch/cover over my laptop, always adjusting the screen to achieve that perfect angle that makes it black for everyone else but then doesnt glare my eyes.....all for those elusive few minutes on Gtalk...ears straining for footsteps on my end of the carpeted floor, looking for a reflection on the glass partition..they are out to get me I tell you.

On those rare days when I have to work all morning, I end up doing pranayama to balance my senses - sit absolutely still and slowly relax my breathing, with my eyes closed of course. These are days when i can hear the air rushing in through my nose, bristling my nostrils, through the nasal passage, the esophagus , the alveoli and beyond....This intense level of concentration sometimes cause the mind to drift, the pupils to dilate - a state sanyasis call -paramanandham. Lesser mortals sometimes belittle it by calling it sleep.

Hectic work days like these, coupled with the gastronomic delights that set in an hour after large portions of fries go in for lunch.... mean that I am forced to do some serious introspection in the afternoons...It was during one of those sessions when i sat staring at the mirror at the other end of the longish room,breaking the silence with a distinctly undistinguishable whistle that realisation dawned .... Split personalities...think spaceman spiff, think JD....

As I sat about dissectin the different layers of my personalities, I found out how much TV had influenced an innocent mind like mine....a bit of Ed from stuckey ville, JD from scrubs, of course clint eastwood and vadivelu....part calvin.. futher brain racking and i realised this is something that everyone must be having..That is perhaps the most feasible theory that can explain anyone's random actions, words and thoughts. As for me, all that i have to do is find a name that fits my alter ego..for now the supreme being....But rest assured, you will definitely find him making more frequent appearances here..

For those disbelievers and sceptics, who would rebuff my story above by pointing out the fact that I am not yet fired, my final retort is this. When you become one with the supreme being, coding gets done automatically. The rest will be taken care of by QA.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Writer's block

Of late, life has been very restless. I have been testing my limits for non-stop travelling. Hate to admit it, but however much i would like to consider myself an itinerant traveller, always ready for the rough and the tumble of the road, the truth couldnt be far from it. True that I have been covering distances here, distances that back in India would qualify me to be right there among the top 1% of the "Thendis". But the truth is I couldnt have been farther away from the "Rough and tumble" of the road.

I have been keeping count, 6 weekends since I landed here, and the last 5 of those were on the road, with plans for the foreseaable future as well . But all the 5, were boring journeys, Boring being the understatement. It is not that the destinations were boring, I had a gala time, with friends and family alike. But this throws the proven slogan that people like me hold so dear "It is the journey that matters, not the destination". It was like somebody took a piece of paper, wrote the slogan down and ran it right through the shredder. SIGH.

Compared to the rickety KSRTC buses, toyota corollas, Indicabs, and the ever lovable but tiring indian railways, the rides have been luxurious. Wonderfully plush buses, quick hopper flights, chrysler 300 a hyundai tiburon and of course the corolla as well. These coupled with the boringly smooth roads and interstates should have ensured a journey in absolute comfort. Sadly, though that was the case my already softening "software" demeanour found the going a little tough. At the end of each trip, the lethargy that sets in is incredible. And now I am stuck.

This has been the case with me for the past few days. I have been observing all the goings on in the world in the US - with my ever "Sharp" and "observant" eyes. Thinking up lines that will make the post readable. I come home, the hotel rather and then quickly key down a few lines and the inevitable happens - Writer's block.

I always thought that writer's block, was a state of mind that was widely publicised to display the true intellectual or the pseudo that you are. So in a way that makes me proud. I am in hallowed company - Hemingway, Shakespeare and others. The prospective articles have been languishing in my drafts folder for long - an insightful article on the american dream, an unbiased critique of the new york times, Inside the cubicle - claustrophobic , A tale of 3 cities and many many more. Articles that in due course will get the 2 comments (excluding mine) that they deserve. But right now are crippled by lack of creative inputs.

Well, I quit, I can't go on any longer... This post was a desperate attempt to get myself going again..a swift kick in the balls sort of..A compilation of the best hyperbole, euphemisms and shameless self promotion. Inspired by none other than Sachin, Ganguly and the gang. People who never say die. Despite their poor form never giving up their spots. Coming out all guns blazing and scorng 30 runs from 50 balls. And finally striking it big against bangladesh. Persistence pays people - look at sachin. It is only a matter of time before Dada and then yours truly make it big. Thanks for your support

P.S - If you have managed to labour on till this point, Please be sure to leave a comment that will win you a free autographed copy of my book( that I am going to write soon)..