Fantasia

I have been fantasizing a lot lately (not that kind you dirty mind). These are fantasies that too much of TV(think JD think scrubs) , movies (think matrix , think vadivelu) and Calvin and hobbes (the only ones)... can do to a mind that has too much time on its hands..

Work has been lean, I am not complaining, not yet...was pretty much the same in India. It is just that, here, people work and thats pretty much it....Imagine this for fun at work...a huge hall with cubicles spread out as far as the eye can see, people trotting in at 9.00 and leaving at 4.00, dead silence broken by the occasional phone ring...Yeah people , think matrix.And the fact that Keanu Reaves is as good looking as me, helps me ease into his shoes a lot more easily. Only difference was that Neo tries to hide/crouch and evade Mr.Anderson....to talk on the phone..

In my case i crouch/cover over my laptop, always adjusting the screen to achieve that perfect angle that makes it black for everyone else but then doesnt glare my eyes.....all for those elusive few minutes on Gtalk...ears straining for footsteps on my end of the carpeted floor, looking for a reflection on the glass partition..they are out to get me I tell you.

On those rare days when I have to work all morning, I end up doing pranayama to balance my senses - sit absolutely still and slowly relax my breathing, with my eyes closed of course. These are days when i can hear the air rushing in through my nose, bristling my nostrils, through the nasal passage, the esophagus , the alveoli and beyond....This intense level of concentration sometimes cause the mind to drift, the pupils to dilate - a state sanyasis call -paramanandham. Lesser mortals sometimes belittle it by calling it sleep.

Hectic work days like these, coupled with the gastronomic delights that set in an hour after large portions of fries go in for lunch.... mean that I am forced to do some serious introspection in the afternoons...It was during one of those sessions when i sat staring at the mirror at the other end of the longish room,breaking the silence with a distinctly undistinguishable whistle that realisation dawned .... Split personalities...think spaceman spiff, think JD....

As I sat about dissectin the different layers of my personalities, I found out how much TV had influenced an innocent mind like mine....a bit of Ed from stuckey ville, JD from scrubs, of course clint eastwood and vadivelu....part calvin.. futher brain racking and i realised this is something that everyone must be having..That is perhaps the most feasible theory that can explain anyone's random actions, words and thoughts. As for me, all that i have to do is find a name that fits my alter ego..for now the supreme being....But rest assured, you will definitely find him making more frequent appearances here..

For those disbelievers and sceptics, who would rebuff my story above by pointing out the fact that I am not yet fired, my final retort is this. When you become one with the supreme being, coding gets done automatically. The rest will be taken care of by QA.

Writer's block

Of late, life has been very restless. I have been testing my limits for non-stop travelling. Hate to admit it, but however much i would like to consider myself an itinerant traveller, always ready for the rough and the tumble of the road, the truth couldnt be far from it. True that I have been covering distances here, distances that back in India would qualify me to be right there among the top 1% of the "Thendis". But the truth is I couldnt have been farther away from the "Rough and tumble" of the road.

I have been keeping count, 6 weekends since I landed here, and the last 5 of those were on the road, with plans for the foreseaable future as well . But all the 5, were boring journeys, Boring being the understatement. It is not that the destinations were boring, I had a gala time, with friends and family alike. But this throws the proven slogan that people like me hold so dear "It is the journey that matters, not the destination". It was like somebody took a piece of paper, wrote the slogan down and ran it right through the shredder. SIGH.

Compared to the rickety KSRTC buses, toyota corollas, Indicabs, and the ever lovable but tiring indian railways, the rides have been luxurious. Wonderfully plush buses, quick hopper flights, chrysler 300 a hyundai tiburon and of course the corolla as well. These coupled with the boringly smooth roads and interstates should have ensured a journey in absolute comfort. Sadly, though that was the case my already softening "software" demeanour found the going a little tough. At the end of each trip, the lethargy that sets in is incredible. And now I am stuck.

This has been the case with me for the past few days. I have been observing all the goings on in the world in the US - with my ever "Sharp" and "observant" eyes. Thinking up lines that will make the post readable. I come home, the hotel rather and then quickly key down a few lines and the inevitable happens - Writer's block.

I always thought that writer's block, was a state of mind that was widely publicised to display the true intellectual or the pseudo that you are. So in a way that makes me proud. I am in hallowed company - Hemingway, Shakespeare and others. The prospective articles have been languishing in my drafts folder for long - an insightful article on the american dream, an unbiased critique of the new york times, Inside the cubicle - claustrophobic , A tale of 3 cities and many many more. Articles that in due course will get the 2 comments (excluding mine) that they deserve. But right now are crippled by lack of creative inputs.

Well, I quit, I can't go on any longer... This post was a desperate attempt to get myself going again..a swift kick in the balls sort of..A compilation of the best hyperbole, euphemisms and shameless self promotion. Inspired by none other than Sachin, Ganguly and the gang. People who never say die. Despite their poor form never giving up their spots. Coming out all guns blazing and scorng 30 runs from 50 balls. And finally striking it big against bangladesh. Persistence pays people - look at sachin. It is only a matter of time before Dada and then yours truly make it big. Thanks for your support

P.S - If you have managed to labour on till this point, Please be sure to leave a comment that will win you a free autographed copy of my book( that I am going to write soon)..

My First impression

I have been in the US only 2 weeks now but my first words to myself are still echoing in my head. Words that get reinforced, every passing day. "Boy!! everything is so big around here." Right from the moment, I stepped into the cab at the airport, there has been that feeling of "Shock and awe". There I was - a slender 5' 11, lean and mean, being smothered by the cushion around, with barely my neck sticking out of the seat straining to catch the scenery.

The hotel rooms were thankfully small (normal size by indian standards), but there ends the exceptions. The size was what caught my eyes everywhere, and in some cases caused overloads at the business end of my digestive system as well.

Jumping from "3 Idlis-one limited meals with curd - samosaa/cutlet - and a relaxing dinner of rasam/thayir saatham" to "3 eggs,potatoes and pancakes - 2 eggs,toast and fries - cappucino - and a relaxing dinner of belgian waffles/foot long subs"........I guess this was what people were refering to as "Jet-Lag"(It is not that i had choice when it came to choosing the meals, these were the ideal choices considering the "Investment vs Return" tradeoff). It took me over a week to "settle" things down...whew!!

Not ones to take things lying down, we decided to get things moving along by cooking our own food - Target Walmart. Result Disorientation. An hour and a half later all we could select was one packet of bread. And as we stood before the unending rack of vegetables, me and my roomie, exclaimed almost at the same time - "Even the peas are so big....SIGH!!".

Considering the amount of food that goes into an average american, generations over generations, the girth is only natural. And on a boring day waiting for a bus, as one LARGE human being walked past , I was tempted to go "entha kadayile nee pizza vaangare"...

Well you can call that desperation at the effortlessness with which all the fat tends to get concentrated around a few waists, while the rest move along at a Hindu rate of growth. A classic case of the fat getting fatter and the poor getting poorer. hmmmmm...

As the days went past, the shrinking feeling inside me kept growing. But it was Liberty mami who came to my rescue. A sign board quoting the designer and architect who staked his claim to the liberty - "Everything is so big in America - even the peas". hmm, Wise people do think alike. What say people?