Guaranteed

One bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
All my destinations will accept the one that's me
So I can breathe...

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
A mind full of questions, and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I'm never what they thought
I've got my indignation, but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees, they're singing with the dead
Overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me
Guaranteed

-- Eddie Vedder

Greetings from Ithaca

It has been six months or more I think, let us just say things have happened and move on. As for these said things they have been breakneck, too many to even recall in entirety, but I will try as I am sitting here enjoying my first vacation. Ithaca is officially known as 10 sq miles of paradise surrounded by reality. Could not be more true. I get to wake up to the chirping of birds and a wonderful open vista ...something that i always wanted, but then there is always a catch; academics this time around.
The first six months has been hectic as hell, but people who have been through this assure me that the worst is now behind me. So there is still hope, I guess. I digress. My purpose of getting back on the blog is to wish anyone who still strays onto this corner of the web
A very special new year ahead!!
Hopefully I will not be brain dead and will see you around in the new year with something interesting. CHEERS!

The Sheer Randomness of it all

Just another saturday night; yet another movie. Three more hours killed; still no sleep though. Ive been sitting on my chair pretending to read, all the while staring out of the window...the miserable New England drizzle, the noisy drunken louts walking back home with the occasional drunken lass. Maybe that is what I need, some alcohol to numb my brain and put me to sleep. And I surprise myself with that thought.

It is well past midnight and the entire Sigur Ros playlist has run its course. The revolting movie house coffee seems to be kicking in, a good few hours later. There is an eerie silence in the house that strangely makes me too aware of how clearly I am thinking; random thoughts that seem to be the handiwork of a brain trying to sort through too much...what is the word I am looking for here...hmm..."stuff"???

There has been death....sadly not a tear in my eyes, then or now. And I therefore still can't let go....closure is what I am looking for....

There is hope....people are moving on, putting aside differences and striving to be close again.

There has been euphoria...I am moving on in life. For better or for worse I don't know. For better I hope. Never been this excited in a long long time. A little scared too. I could take down a whole lot of people with me. I could have done without the pressure, but I couldn't have done without the support.

Catch -22!

Above all is the humbling realization that success in life is all a result of a random sequence of events...monkeys on a keyboard .... any one of which if the outcome was different could end up taking you in a totally different direction. You need just enough talent to make the best of the opportunities. The rest is all baloney.

And I wait for that one event in about a month's time. Life could be decided by a person across a window over a 5 minute period....Not feeling scared as much as I am feeling Powerless!!

An my train of thought has run its course, sadly no sleep yet.

Time for some Johnny cash......